Do Perfectionists Really Wear Perfectionism as a Badge of Honor?

You’ve probably heard someone say they’re a perfectionist like it’s a humblebrag. Maybe you’ve even said it yourself. But does perfectionism really deserve that badge of honor?

I recently read an article where the author claimed that perfectionists wear their perfectionism as a badge of honor—but that they were delusional for doing so. That take didn’t sit right with me. The article assumed that everyone experiences perfectionism the same way—as something to take pride in, a mark of high standards. And it also treated perfectionism as something inherently bad.

But perfectionism isn’t inherently good or bad—it all depends on how you experience it. Some people thrive with perfectionism, while others feel completely trapped by it. And ignoring that distinction is where the real issue lies.

Perfectionism Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

Some people do treat perfectionism like a flex, because it works for them. But for others, it feels like a constant weight on their shoulders. And unfortunately, those voices are often ignored.

Because perfectionism isn’t just one thing. It can be:
  • A source of motivation and high standards—when managed well.
  • A source of self-doubt, burnout, and procrastination—when it turns toxic.

So what’s the difference? Why do some people wear perfectionism as a badge of honor while others feel trapped by it?

The People Who Wear Perfectionism as a Badge of Honor

These are the people who experience what some experts call “healthy perfectionism.”

For them, perfectionism pushes them to:

  • Dream big and set ambitious goals—and actually meet them. And even if they don’t fully reach their goal, they can still take pride in their progress.
  • Strive for excellence—without feeling paralyzed by failure.
  • Take pride in their attention to detail—without getting stuck in overthinking.

For them, perfectionism is a tool, not a trap.

And if that’s you? Great! Don’t let anyone tell you that you need to “fix” something that’s working for you. I’m sure you have plenty of examples in your life where your perfectionism has helped you achieve amazing things.

For healthy perfectionists, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wearing perfectionism as a badge of honor.

But what about the perfectionists who don’t feel this way? The ones who constantly feel like they’re falling short, no matter how hard they try?

The Perfectionists Who Feel Trapped By It

For others, perfectionism isn’t motivating—it’s suffocating. Instead of pushing them forward, it holds them back in ways that are exhausting and frustrating.

They experience perfectionism as:

  • Procrastination, not out of laziness, but because the fear of failure is paralyzing.
  • Never feeling good enough, no matter how much they achieve.
  • Anxiety over small mistakes, replaying them over and over in their mind.
  • Guilt over resting, because if they’re not being productive, they feel like they’re falling behind.

These perfectionists do not brag about being perfectionists.

In fact, they might not even realize they are perfectionists, because the common narrative paints perfectionists as the high-achieving, detail-oriented, “badge of honor” type.
But they do know something feels off. They know their way of thinking and working isn’t helping them—it’s draining them. They just don’t know what to call it.

And if that’s you? I see you. I’ve been you. For years, I thought something was wrong with me—my inner mean girl tore me down over the smallest things. And let me tell you, this kind of perfectionism is absolutely exhausting.

You are not broken for feeling this way. And you are not alone.

The Real Problem: When Perfectionism Gets Dismissed as a “Flex”

Let’s go back to that article I mentioned earlier.

The real problem with saying “perfectionists just wear their perfectionism as a badge of honor” is that it dismisses so many people who are genuinely struggling.

In fact, this is something I see all the time in discussions about perfectionism. There’s this frustrating tendency to treat it like:

1. A delusion that perfectionists just need to “wake up” from.
  • But… what if they don’t want to wake up from it?
  • What if perfectionism is deeply ingrained in who they are, and the idea of letting go of it feels terrifying?
  • What if it’s not as simple as flipping a switch?
2. A fake problem that isn’t really holding people back.
  • Ever been told to “just stop caring so much”? Like—oh wow, thank you! I’ll just go ahead and turn off my paralyzing fear of failure real quick. Why didn’t I think of that? 🙃
  • Perfectionism isn’t just “caring too much.” It’s a deeply ingrained thought pattern that doesn’t magically disappear just because someone tells you to chill.
3. A positive trait that shouldn’t be questioned.
  • You know that classic job interview question: “What’s your biggest weakness?”
  • And people proudly say, “Oh, I’m a perfectionist!”—as if perfectionism is just a quirky way of saying “I work too hard and care too much.”
  • Sure, some perfectionists thrive with it. But for so many others, it’s a constant cycle of stress, anxiety, and self-doubt.

Perfectionism is nuanced—so let’s talk about it that way.

Because here’s the thing: if you read about “healthy perfectionists” and feel a pang of envy, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed.

Perfectionism doesn’t have to break you. You can learn to manage it in a way that supports you instead of exhausting you.

And that’s the conversation we need to be having.

How to Manage Perfectionism So It Works for You, Not Against You

If perfectionism has felt more like a weight than a superpower, I want to repeat: you’re not broken, and you don’t need to “fix” yourself. But you do need to learn how to stop letting perfectionism run the show.

Here are three simple shifts to start with:

Swap “perfect” for “good enough.”
Perfectionists love an all-or-nothing mindset, but guess what? Done beats perfect. Every. Single. Time. Next time you’re stuck overanalyzing, ask yourself: “What would ‘good enough’ look like here?”—then do that.

Celebrate progress, not just the final result.
Your brain is probably really good at moving the goalpost: You achieve something, and instead of celebrating, you think, Okay, but it’s not that impressive … We’re not doing that anymore. Every step counts. Take a moment to acknowledge it.

Give yourself permission to rest—without guilt.
Rest isn’t wasted time; it’s necessary time. You do not need to “earn” your breaks.
Seriously, go take a nap or read a book or something. I promise the world won’t implode.

Now, this blog post is already long, and I could talk about managing perfectionism forever—but I’ll spare you a novel this time. 😉

If learning how to work with your perfectionism (instead of constantly fighting it) is something you’re interested in, that’s exactly what I teach here on my blog.

So if you want to make sure you never miss my more in depth, actionable posts you can sign up for my newsletter 👇🏻. That way, the best perfectionism tips will always find their way to you 💌.

So … Do Perfectionists Really Wear Perfectionism as a Badge of Honor?

Some do. And that’s okay! If perfectionism fuels you and makes your life better, own it. Keep doing what works for you—I’m cheering you on.

But for many others, perfectionism isn’t a flex, and they would never wear their perfectionism as a badge of honor. And those voices deserve to be part of the conversation, too.

So tell me—how does perfectionism show up in your life? Does it push you forward, or does it hold you back? Or maybe a little bit of both?

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